Being in a relationship has a it's perks...you have someone you call your own, you could talk to about anything, spend time with, cuddle, kiss...blah, blah. But as to everything good it has it's down side, the big fights, the tears, the expectations that couldn't be met, blah, blah.
I'm not about to talk about the pros and cons of a relationship, my 'beef' today is the mistake ladies make in trying to keep a relationship even before the relationship starts! Rule Number 1, let him chase you....it will never go out of fashion!
Modern woman: Forget all the talk about being enlightened and modern, knowing what you want and being agressive about getting it. Sweetheart be aggressive about getting that job, promotion, education or whatever but never ever be aggressive about getting a man.
The relationship might be beautiful and wonderful at first because the guy would be flattered about the kinda attention he's getting and would what to explore.
But before long he gets weary as its not in his in nature to be pursued and conquered. It is a man's nature to want what he cannot have or what is difficult to attain, I think it makes them feel powerful or something. If you go after him you'd probably get him but within a short time he backs out, then you make the mistake of trying harder to please him by being nicer and sweeter, please you've done enough damage already, Stop!
If he really wants you he'll come for you, Its a classic rule that will never go out of date.
On call: Okay so you allowed him to chase you, he got you.....never all lose your self in the relationship by putting your career, your friends, your family on the back bench and decide to focus all your energy on the relationship. You don't seem to have a life of your own always on his beck and call, forgetting about all your needs and putting the needs of the guy before yours.....haba! e ma sef go tire na.
Get a life! get busy doing stuff you want to do, chances are he's probably living his why not yours? there should be times he calls you for a date or something and you tell him you want to hang out with your girls or you want to stay at home to read a your favourite book or watch your favourite TV show. Please don't get me wrong I'm not saying you should be totally selfish but find a balance oh....because it might be all sweet and rosy now, in the long run when he walks out, you would definitely be feeling empty, wondering what to do with yourself.
At the end of the day no book, article, opinion can really give you the guidelines in handling a relationship, just follow your brain not your heart and you will be fine. My golden rule still remains.....let him chase you and be yourself don't change a thing!, if he's the 'one' he will love you that way. Strictly my opinion. tara!
Friday, 26 August 2011
Wednesday, 24 August 2011
What's wrong with laughing?....
Whoever said Karma does not exist must be really delusional! it's a known fact that whatever you do comes back to you Hosea 8:7 they have planted the wind,and will harvest the whirlwind. it is in view of this that I remember naughty things I did to my mum or rather.........we did to our mum, all five of us!. I can't really recall what we did then, but my mum was trying to scold us and I think it was the way she said it or maybe what she said, my late brother, Junior, started laughing and he had this unique way of laughing that is always infectious so in no time we all started laughing including my mum!
We all took that for granted so we were all, always doing it anytime she tries to correct us, we laugh, always starting with my brother. She got angry one day and flogged us real hard my brother the hardest, we cried our eyes out that day I tell you but that didn't stop us we still laughed anytime she tries to scold us together, though with caution, like a giggle or something. She always warned that we would reap the fruits of our actions, as a teenager then I was scared a little but I always shrugged it off thinking....... whats wrong with laughing? afterall I listen when you correct me. I knew soon enough.
I reaped it recently! with my sweet little cousin who I think is the naughtiest girl in the world! she's eight years old so she's not that little anymore. Whenever she's being naughty and I try to scold her she laughs and then I spank her, she laughs still, I spank her some more she cries a little and then laughs even more.....believe me you can imagine how infutriating it is.
And then I Paused....and remembered. Now I know whats wrong with laughing......
We all took that for granted so we were all, always doing it anytime she tries to correct us, we laugh, always starting with my brother. She got angry one day and flogged us real hard my brother the hardest, we cried our eyes out that day I tell you but that didn't stop us we still laughed anytime she tries to scold us together, though with caution, like a giggle or something. She always warned that we would reap the fruits of our actions, as a teenager then I was scared a little but I always shrugged it off thinking....... whats wrong with laughing? afterall I listen when you correct me. I knew soon enough.
I reaped it recently! with my sweet little cousin who I think is the naughtiest girl in the world! she's eight years old so she's not that little anymore. Whenever she's being naughty and I try to scold her she laughs and then I spank her, she laughs still, I spank her some more she cries a little and then laughs even more.....believe me you can imagine how infutriating it is.
And then I Paused....and remembered. Now I know whats wrong with laughing......
Tuesday, 23 August 2011
Post Election Crises.....My Experience (we have enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another-Jonathan Swift, English Author)
I always await every election with dread seeing what it has done to other countries disrupting their peace and economy, knowing how violent prone the elections are I made it a rule for my self not to travel or involve myself in any way with the process, though I got crucified by some friends and family who felt I had to exercise my civic duty as a citizen of this country I didn't budge because I felt the security operatives can in no way convince me they were competent enough to safe guard the lives of Nigerians, and how right I was! with the various bombing episodes that took the lives of innocent budding youths. I always felt the crises that erupts during these elections are more religious than political.
Despite how safety conscious I was, I traveled to Zaria on the eve of the Presidential election to attend to some pressing personal issues against my better judgment. As I traveled through Kaduna town I felt the tension every where, Knowing the nature of the north and knowing CPC couldn't move a magic wand to win the election every thing in me was screaming go back! but my stubborn nature made me continue.
On getting to Zaria everything looked and felt normal and the fact that Zaria doesn't have so much history of violence I relaxed and forgot where I was and I decided to leave Zaria on Monday big mistake that was! woke up on Monday morning took my time getting dressed not aware of the crises that started the night before in Kaduna. I got to the first park with a friend but only buses were available and knowing how slow the Kaduna buses could be, it was just not an option considering that I had to get to the office at 10am! so they directed us to another park not too far only to get there and and be told that Kaduna 'ba shiga' (no entry) reason? they were protesting the Presidential election results!
The sensible option would be to go back and wait it out, but we decided to wait and see if any of the drivers would change their mind, luckily an igbo driver did (he too like money abi), so we left making calls confirming that the roads were fairly safe and my friend said something like I know i'm not going to die in a car crash or any sort of violence but old on my warm bed and the thought in my head was I don't know about that because no one really knows but I know we are not dieing today.We almost got to Kwoi next thing we know the driver started reversing saying it was not safe and in my head I was saying 'fear, fear' apparently i didn't know how violent the protests was.
On our way back to Zaria we started receiving calls of violent protests erupting in Zaria, and in my naivety I felt it was something mild and by evening they will get tired and go home and I can leave for Abuja the next day i got the shock of my life when just at the outskirts of Zaria a large group of protesters with various barbaric weapons and burning tires were on the middle of the road with two dead people on the ground, I was like okay....we just leave Zaria 25 mins ago! about six military men were somewhere between but their presence did not seem to deter them from chanting CPC!, CPC! and intimidating vehicles trying to get into Zaria and we had to chant CPC with two fingers up to pass through only to meet a more vicious set in front, we had to retreat and were advised by some kind settlers in a nearby village to park our car there, it was a very frustrating experience because we couldn't enter Zaria and we couldn't go to Kaduna and we were not safe where we were.
While we were in the village waiting for the protesters to cool off, can't really remeber the name right now, about twenty minutes later we heard gun shots, my heart skipped, I looked up and I saw people running towards us, obviously the soilders couldn't tolerate them anymore. We had to run as well, through it all I imagined myself on the ground with a bullet in my head but I kept telling myself to keep running, then I heard "Shiga!, Shiga!"(it means enter in Hausa language) I looked up and saw a group of Hausa muslim women urging us to enter their room, I was skeptical about entering because of stories I've heard. It was a classic case of between the devil and the deep blue sea, I entered anyway and I found myself with two other guys, the women and their kids and we all layed on the floor for about an hour. Those women turned out to be my angels, they didn't care that I was putting on a tight jeans, that I am a christian or that I am yoruba. To them I was a human being, their sister......The world will be a better place if we just love one another.
Despite how safety conscious I was, I traveled to Zaria on the eve of the Presidential election to attend to some pressing personal issues against my better judgment. As I traveled through Kaduna town I felt the tension every where, Knowing the nature of the north and knowing CPC couldn't move a magic wand to win the election every thing in me was screaming go back! but my stubborn nature made me continue.
On getting to Zaria everything looked and felt normal and the fact that Zaria doesn't have so much history of violence I relaxed and forgot where I was and I decided to leave Zaria on Monday big mistake that was! woke up on Monday morning took my time getting dressed not aware of the crises that started the night before in Kaduna. I got to the first park with a friend but only buses were available and knowing how slow the Kaduna buses could be, it was just not an option considering that I had to get to the office at 10am! so they directed us to another park not too far only to get there and and be told that Kaduna 'ba shiga' (no entry) reason? they were protesting the Presidential election results!
The sensible option would be to go back and wait it out, but we decided to wait and see if any of the drivers would change their mind, luckily an igbo driver did (he too like money abi), so we left making calls confirming that the roads were fairly safe and my friend said something like I know i'm not going to die in a car crash or any sort of violence but old on my warm bed and the thought in my head was I don't know about that because no one really knows but I know we are not dieing today.We almost got to Kwoi next thing we know the driver started reversing saying it was not safe and in my head I was saying 'fear, fear' apparently i didn't know how violent the protests was.
On our way back to Zaria we started receiving calls of violent protests erupting in Zaria, and in my naivety I felt it was something mild and by evening they will get tired and go home and I can leave for Abuja the next day i got the shock of my life when just at the outskirts of Zaria a large group of protesters with various barbaric weapons and burning tires were on the middle of the road with two dead people on the ground, I was like okay....we just leave Zaria 25 mins ago! about six military men were somewhere between but their presence did not seem to deter them from chanting CPC!, CPC! and intimidating vehicles trying to get into Zaria and we had to chant CPC with two fingers up to pass through only to meet a more vicious set in front, we had to retreat and were advised by some kind settlers in a nearby village to park our car there, it was a very frustrating experience because we couldn't enter Zaria and we couldn't go to Kaduna and we were not safe where we were.
While we were in the village waiting for the protesters to cool off, can't really remeber the name right now, about twenty minutes later we heard gun shots, my heart skipped, I looked up and I saw people running towards us, obviously the soilders couldn't tolerate them anymore. We had to run as well, through it all I imagined myself on the ground with a bullet in my head but I kept telling myself to keep running, then I heard "Shiga!, Shiga!"(it means enter in Hausa language) I looked up and saw a group of Hausa muslim women urging us to enter their room, I was skeptical about entering because of stories I've heard. It was a classic case of between the devil and the deep blue sea, I entered anyway and I found myself with two other guys, the women and their kids and we all layed on the floor for about an hour. Those women turned out to be my angels, they didn't care that I was putting on a tight jeans, that I am a christian or that I am yoruba. To them I was a human being, their sister......The world will be a better place if we just love one another.
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